Poems

Forced Conversations
Awkward silences
I want more, need more
Are you a coward?
You're afraid of effort
I tried and you lied
"trust me," you said
I let my guard down
Did you plan this?
Was your goal to cause pain?
Because you did
And now I'm cold

I'm sorry for my lack of judgement
In a place that numbed memories and morals
For a stretch my mindset was changed
My heart was hardened to you, careless
Another made me feel joy, made me forget
The stretch ended and morals returned
A 13 hour trip forced back memories
Regret is not the word, disappointment is
I tried to hold onto something that never was
Anything to justify the guilt and numbness
Now we all feel betrayed and empty

You promised me hope
And crushed my heart
You promised me love
And changed your mind
You made me feel again
And then you made me hurt
Now I'm afraid to love
Afraid to risk heartbreak
You don't understand
You broke me in two
One side hurts, the other fears
Afraid to be alone

fresh vernal grasses tint the morning haze; homing swallows lace the sky in pairs; in the river, a stretch of darker green-- people cry in wonder at the scene. but out beyond the depths of yonder clouds stand palaces and courts that once were ours. who will stand for loyalty, take honor's part, and ease the heavy wrongs upon my heart? earth tops heaven; sun and moon change place. once i had a kingdom; now, a border town. robbed of life; by subjects overthrown. all is lost; tears in vain flow on. majestic heaven falls; mother earth sinks down. given in marriage, i follow where he goes. two deferent paths--life and death--here part. so swift the course, and sorrow-filled my heart.

what do you think ?

As his rough hand slams across my face
I think what have I done wrong, what did I do?
As he rips my jeans, and tears my shirt of lace
I ask why me, how can this be, and you are who?
He rapes me with incredible strength, and undenigning anger.
When I tell him to stop, he thinks its a game and prusues onward
he made me do things to him, and always say sir
But why is this happening, how could this occur
your my daddy, my father, I trusted you,
but yet you go onward, and pursue,
You were wrong I want you to know, for everything you did was so.
I hope you die and rot in your grave
when your someone that Jesus died to save
I hate you, you filty beast
I hate you I loath you, and now your the devils feast

My road of life hasn't been an easy path
I've surrived all of my obstacles wrath
With death and abuse, drugs, and the thugs
I know theres others worse off, I share my hugs
But life, isn't easy, It's the hardest game
I don't care about glory and f*cking fame
If your reading this, and you feel the same
the depression, the sorrow, or maybe you think it's all lame
well, I pray for everyone who plays the game of life,
Who dosn't give up and go out the easy way,
Where in the end all the strong can say:
"Thank you God for the incredible strength you gave me, to make it through my interminable journey"

3 sunny

my knees start to shake
when your in sight
my mind is filled with wander
my heart with fright.


when will this feeling stop?
when did it start?
how can i listen to my mind
with out breaking my heart


im so confused
what should i do
i cant think of anything
except for you


should i ignore you
or just give you time
i cant think straght
my heart controls my mind.

so you are dead
congratulations
welcome to hell


here to the left,
youll find your pit,
enjoy the nails


you see there
just above
thats your water
just out of the way
thirsing forever
enjoy the reach


i want you to know
your going to die


again and again
what a hoot
i know ill enjoy the show


so your dead again
you know you like it
welcome to hell

close your eyes
so you cant see the pieces on the ground
broken
tattered
shamed
scarred
beaten
ripped
bruised
tainted
hurt
keep them closed
move slow
time will put them back together
fixed
sewn together
prided
healed
held
patched
beautiful
fearless
loved
open your eyes
its all okay now
move on
its in the past
its over now

do you understand
the pain i hide?
how it got there...
and where it is inside...
its starting to show
in little red lines
and glossy trails
in so many places
the pain of those
i cant even feel
all i feel
is the pain within me
the pain i hide
do you realize
its killing me inside?
piece by piece
dream by dream
heart by heart