i have no idea what i want anymore. i find myself saying that so much that i wonder if i ever really knew what i wanted in the first place. or if i ever will. ha.
i have so many opportunities in front of me but i am ready to throw them all away for the sake of my well-being. or maybe i just don't know what really makes me happy. i always want what i can't have. i'm going to go through with this whether i am miserable the whole time or not so i guess i might as well be happy. or at least stay up all night on my computer listening to music and writing i for old time's sake. i have no idea what i'm talking about somehow i can never find the right words to say anymore. i'll type pages and pages and when i'm done, just drag my mouse over it and press the backspace button... and not care at all. i used to say what i felt... whatever mood i was in, i just let it out. now i'm too afraid to say anything... not because of what people will think or say, but because i just can't find the perfect f*cking words to make things simple, i am sick. annoyed. frustrated. upset. i'm sure anyone can tell what i'm getting at...
this is not just a "teenage girl rant", this is not about a boy, or drama, or something that will fade away in a few days/weeks/months, maybe even years...
i have been putting things off for far too long. i need someone to talk to that will actually understand me ........
xoxo brianne
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Published by
black_voodoo: 9:37 PM
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