So i was recently talking to/ getting acquainted with this great guy, his name is Jon. Jon is such a beautiful person, funny, cool, and a sweetheart. i really don't need or feel to go into detail on what happend & why it did; really, i don't understand it. we aren't together anymore/well we were together at sum time and point and then i hurt him & then we talked agian .
--it's really immature how i handled it i took it too far as of getting to....idk
the feelings i had ventured with him. i miss him more than any of my words could express.
the feeling of "missing" is possibly the only feeling i know for sure im enduring.
you see;
i understand im having these moments of boredom. but i dont know what i want.
i realize i want this new breath of fresh air. but i dont know where i want to breathe.
i get that i've changed. im unsure of how. or even why.
it's like im stuck. i don't know where to go. what to do. to say. who to run to. or if i should even do any of it.
im always going on & complaining about things that occur...but theres no point in doing any of it. what will it change?
people say rude things--& why let them turn into emotions? --words.
i've tried to use my free time to just become who i am. become who i believe is myself.
i've done things to try and change my outward appearance, but hairdye & a tattoo don't do that.
those are simple things that add to who i am...
but now what i am, what i can do...
lonliness- its this constant battle that is dealt with so many people.
but if im here alone. and you are too. why not become together?
this post is possibly one of the most random written blogs to ever exist.
but these are my thoughts; these are my feelings.
can't understand? --me neither.
♥
random thoughts
Why does it hurt so bad
Feels like theres a hole
Needles stabing you
Why dose this happened to me
I only loved you
Don't you want love
Don't you know what you did to me
Sucide its off and on
All I want is the pain to be over
I want to be happy
And never be hurt again
It will never happened never
I'm scared to fall
Cuz I know the stop will hurt
Like ever other stop
Love is painful
The blood drips
xoxo- brianne
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Published by black_voodoo: 11:50 PM
Updated On: 9/29/2007 at 2:17 AM
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