yep..its all me
I been thinking about you
Thoughts take me to when we were close
i hate when i think u love me then it ends up u don't
where did we go wrong
somedays i would try but wasn't able to cry
Like i want us to talk i mean - really talk
take a look at the stars they remind u of me
Sometimes i wonder why am i wasting my time with you
And if your ever going to give me the answer im looking for
the love that i wrote on the mirror it got smeared
I been thinkin bout u lately
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Published by black_voodoo: 12:46 AM
Updated On: 10/28/2007 at 3:01 AM
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hmm idk if i love anyone or anything for that matter anymore
xoxo brianne
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Published by black_voodoo: 1:22 AM
Updated On: 10/14/2007 at 3:23 AM
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Saturday, October 13, 2007
Im not gonna tell u i love u anymore
cause its not like i've given up its
jus it want you to say it first thats all i ask
i think of u everyday every night before i sleep
i hate are akward silences
you know what i really want.....
a guy whose supportive of me and my dreams cuz christ knows they mean alot to me, one who can understand me for myself and that i may make alot of mistakes but i can do sumthings right and its usualy worth it in the end...a guy that doesnt care if i ask alot of questions bout things that happend just cuz i want to understand whats going on with him and how he feels.....i hope ive found one...
Here's a night, and it shines.
And it calls us on and on.
So be here by my side, and watch the stars.
They're ours.
Make a wish or just take charge.
The moment comes get lost and go far.
I think that we've got what it takes to get this heart start beating again.
So take it all the way.
Whoa, whoa.
And our hearts are on The Everglow.
So just let go and fall into it.
We begin, breathe in.
Here's our chance to go for something.
So this is where we win, and take the game.
No blame. There's a neon light inside that shines.
And tearing down the walls in the way.
I think that we've got what it takes to get this heart start beating again.
So take it all the way.
It's cold inside, but deep in the night.
The light is bright enough to save the weakest ones but you're in the running
Oh don't you give up, or fade away.
xoxo - brianne
It's amazing, really,
just how much pain the
human heart can take.
No matter how careful you are...
There is always going to be that sense that you missed something,
the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all.
There's that fallen heart feeling...
that you rushed through moments where you should have been paying attention
growth and change
But anyway lets stop all this nonsense that im talking about above i was really going to make this blog totally good i thought about it all week trying to make it good for you and icouldnt think of a damn thing yeah not like the rest of them ...Love me thats all i ask of you i have to stop totally stop talking about love maybe its a waist of time i mean ...idk you drive me insane i mean you really do ........... In a couple of yrs i will be someones wife thats pretty damn crazy , i was thinking this mornng around 6:15am that i felt like going swimming even though i didnt .Hmm why do I see you lookin at me everytime I close my eyes.Have u ever felt like someone has been in your room but it wasnt you and it wasnt ur mom or dad i had that feeling last night but early that day i had a friend come and search my whole room even my bathroom in my room but no one was there but i just couldnt have that chance cause i was gonna be alone yesterday (thurdsay) anyway so s i slept down stars with my big baby malibu .I had a panic attack isnt that great when i was driving to work i only get them once in a while but mostly all this week actually it suxs it really does ..I guess in the end you start thinking back to the beginning......yeah know ?
xoxo-brianne
Thursday, October 11, 2007
This is not a cry for help
This is not a suicide note
This is just wondering if you still care
This is hoping for the best
This is harder than expected
This is wondering if you have found someone else
This is reminding me of you
This is pain
This is stupid
Am I the pain in your side
Am I the bug in your food
Am I the center of your world
Or am I the one you can't seem to get rid of
random
I feel it on the inside... twisting and contorting... memory has changed me once again.
Still feel you on the inside... biting through and stinging... will I ever forget to remember?
Just one day where nothing goes wrong... thats all I ask... with me and u
i love u i really do i just hate not understanding wat your thinking thats all wat , wat u said was sweet , but i need you to say something from your heart something that i never head before
xoxo brianne
Saturday, October 06, 2007
theres been alot on my mind these past few weeks. friends, family, what im gonna do with the rest of my life. and what i want now.
but anywho lets make this random
i had this deam that i was walking with you and you told me that we could never be any less and never any more. and i was ok with that. but i couldnt help thinking to myself about the time we dove off the cliff. that one to reach my car that was in the middle of the creek, i remember you said something along the line of catch me when i fall. i think i see you slipping so im getting ready to catch you. with arms outstreched i will be there for you, think and thin. then i woke up, and i was alone.
you called me, my fone said your name, but your sweet voice i remember wasnt there. instead it was someone else, someone who changed. you asked me to catch you. i said not to let go, but you did. and you fell into my arms.
Red, Pacific, and the White room
we are a tricycle.
me in the front, and the two in the back. they are always together, they work together while i just steer, while im just in the front alone. im the frist one to get into the bumpy patch, then i steer them away to safty. then im flat tire, then im replaced.. the end
I'm making u think more right ?
I'll even make it long for u
I think that my mind is starting to become my enemy. I think so often that I believe I am starting to think of just outrageous things.
can i make you laugh.
Mood: idk
lets do a survey to make this longer
What shall I call you?: i don't care, whatever.
Why are you taking this quiz?: i'm bored.
Promise not to get offended?: suree.
Great! Any last words? (Muahahaha!): i think i've done this.
Personal Life
How's life treaten' ya?: okay.
Are you happy with your life right now?: some parts of it.
What could make it better, even if you are?: eh.
Who do you live with?: mom
How do you feel about this?: whatever.
Do you have a history of traumatic events in your life?: maybe
How is school?: b
Do you have lots of friends?: no.
How do people generally perceive you?: depends on the person.
How do you generally perceive people?: depends on the person.
Are you a bitter person?: i can be.
Do you easily get jealous of people?: ehh.
How do you channel your anger?: shut people out.
How well do you trust others?: i barely trust anyone.
Your Appearance
Do you think you are attractive?: u can be the judge
Why or why not?: who cares.
What is your favorite physical feature?: i don't know.
Why do you choose this, above all?: -
What do you think of your eyes?: there blue
Do you like the person you see in the mirror?: she could be better.
Do you have a nice body?: if u think that
Have you ever been happy with your appearance?: yeah.
What about unhappy?: duh.
Has anyone ever called you ugly?: uh huhh.
Do you think you're ugly?: on sum days
Were you blessed with physical qualities?: sure
How important is appearance to you?: very
What 2 major things would you change about your appearance?: blahhh.
Why do you choose these two things?:
Friends and Social Life
Let's be vague. In general, do you like people?: yep
Why or why not?: i hate meeting new people in person, i like it online though
Do you have a high or low tolerance for stupidity?: loww.
Are you acceptant of others' beliefs?: yeah.
Do you think you have lots of friends?: yeah
What do you think of the friends you do have?: i don't know.
Do you believe that 'friendship is golden' ?: sometimes.
Do you have a best friend?: yes
How long have you known this person?: since kindergarden
Are they like a brother/sister to you?: sure.
Are you shy?: yeah.
Are you outgoing?: yeah
Have you been hurt by people?: mhm.
Have you ever intentionally hurt anyone, physically or emotionally?: yeah.
Why or why not?: alskdfj.
Sex
First off, have you ever had sex?: yes
First time (if yes) ... Why not (if no) ?:
Does your religion oppose sex?: if you're not married.
What are your personal feelings on sex?: whatever.
Are you straight, bisexual, or homosexual?: i'm straight.
Are you sure?: positive.
Have you ever experimented with the same sex?: nae
Did you like it (if yes) ... Why not (if no) ?:
Do you like sex or is it not appealing to you? i like
Does it frustrate you when people talk about it?: not really.
Is it a subject that makes you uncomfortable?: nope.
The things no one likes to talk about! (Touchy questions ahead.)
Has someone close to you ever died?: uh huh.
Do you think about suicide?: not really.
Have you ever tried to commit suicide?: ***
Have you ever been raped?: no.
Do you cut?: if i knew id tell u
What are your feelings on cutters?: thats a funny question
Do you suffer from Clinical Depression?: no.
Do you have an STD?: no.
Have you ever taken illegal drugs?: yes
Why or why not?: idk
Do you smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol?: no,yes
Why or why not?: i don't need it.
Last Questions
Did this quiz make you uncomfortable?: nope.
Were you honest?: one hundred percent.
Will you take more of my quizzes when I make them?: if i feel like it.
Are you happy it's over?: i don't really care.
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Published by black_voodoo: 9:04 PM
Updated On: 10/6/2007 at 11:27 PM
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my mind is so busy, so chaotic, all these random thoughts running through my mind! i really don't know what to type in here, i'll just put all the random thoughts down--
i still have to write a letter tonight...
I wish someone would leave me a fun note on my car...in the middle of the night..
(i .. i don't know...but it sounds fun..) or like tap on my window..
i miss the old you.but im over it...or will be
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
changes. growing up.
sometimes the best moments are just driving around town, windows down, glasses on, and singing alone to your favorite music and songs.
driving somewhere for no reason or drive no where for a reason.
looking at the scenery, watching the other thousands of cars driving by, hoping to catch a glimpse of someone you know.
always had this idea that it was ok if you and i weren't together right now.
because i felt deep inside that you and i were soul mates.
meant to be together; because with all i have; i love you.
im not quite so sure these days..
i know that you are the one person that when i close my eyes i envision growing with..through age and as a person..
but my uncertainty is how you feel for me.
i might not ever know.
you don't quite understand.
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Published by black_voodoo: 11:03 PM
Updated On: 10/6/2007 at 1:03 AM
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Thursday, October 04, 2007
01. What time is it? 1:04am
02. How many Shortcuts are in your desktop? twenty; but i only use five lol.
03. Are you planning to watch a movie? sooner or later.
04. Have you eaten chocolate today? yeah
05. Is your mom in the house? sure is,
06. Would you consider having a pet monkey? no.
07. Do you think Pepsi is better than Coke? ew i hate both.
08. When was the last time you've been to the zoo? years ago.
09. What is the nearest mall to your place? northfield
10. Do you know how to ride a bike? yeah.
11. Any other person in the room? Who? no one.
12. What do you want to eat for breakfast tomorrow? nothing.
13. Who are the top 3 people in your life? Cory;Courtney ;&& I can't choose.
14. Do you still watch cartoons? no.
15. What's the hair color of your English teacher? brown.
16. How many windows do you have open? 1
17. What's your opinion about abortion? i think its womens choice
18. Could you name 5 yellow fruits? nope i couldn't.
19. Do you enjoy Tim Burton movies? no.
20. How much allowance does your parents give you a day? i don't get allowance.
21. When was the last time you went swimming? august.
22. Do you go to the cemetery every November 1? no.
23. Most of your friends are of what sex? equal
24. What was the best gift you got last Christmas? i couldn't tell ya.
25. Would you help old people cross the road? ah idts.
27. Are popcorns a must for you in the cinema? i dont usually eat.
28. Do you think Supercalifragelisticexpialidocious is a word? yes.
29. How do you see yourself 15 years from now? i don't even wanna know.
30. What's your reaction when you see a Rainbow? eeee.
31. Would embarrassment make you cry? yes. lol.
32. Do you actually go to the Guidance Counselor for help? no.
33. How long could you hold your breath underwater? idkk
34. What's the brand of the top you're wearing? Hollister
35. Do you think that it's possible for Marlin & Dory have a relationship? whoever they are?
36. If you could drink anything right now, what would it be? oreo sundae from BK; omg theyre to die for
37. Any bad habits? many
38. What do you think of Racism? sucks.
39. What's your current Desktop Wallpaper? a poster thang.
40. When you wake up, do you count the # or hours you slept? no.
41. What is the 4th website in your Favorites list? its some weird gotchic site; idk why its there.
42. Dissecting frogs are..? SO GROSS; never done it. never will.
43. Who is the richest man in the world? i don't care.
44. Do you think you have the guts to join Fear Factor? no
45. Look behind you, what do you see? my bed
46. A guy snatches an old lady's purse, what do you do? depends iguess
47. Did you notice that there's no #26? no.
48. And now did you scroll back up to check? no.
49. That's getting old. Anyway, what time is it? 1:08
50. Now do some Maths. How long did you do this survey? nine minutes; woah
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